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why1980

Getting my thoughts out to share with the world, no matter what they are

Dear Jet Magazine

Jet,

Fire editor and classless, Mitzi Miller, for her tasteless and ignorant Facebook statement about Fantasia. Ms. Miller is a public figure and what she says (whether she likes it or not) holds much weight in our community. With it being Black History Month, she is once again showing how this current generation is one full of selfish people who feed on tearing each other down, instead of lifting each other up as a group. Our generation proudly defiles one another for the world to see and then we applaud one another for showing such disrespect. I can’t even defend us anymore. This generation has really lost all respect for themselves as a people, and it’s a slap in the face to those who’ve come before us . There was a time when Ms. Miller could only DREAM of being an editor in chief of a published magazine because black WOMEN weren’t hired for such positions. Ms. Miller’s ignorance enrages me because it undermines all the work black women of the past and present have done to stand tall in the face of adversity. It takes the light off of the women who are representing us well. Ms. Miller reinforces the stereotype that black women are hateful toward one another, and lack respect. She also reinforces the stereotype that black women don’t really want to work; we’d rather just be someone’s wife and stay at home all day. She reinforces the stereotype that black women only find their worth in a man’s acceptance or approval. It’s okay if one desires to be a housewife, but she needs to step aside and make room for a woman who wants to be an editor-in-chief. Ms. Miller can go buy a ticket to the nearest NBA game and sit front row as if she’s on the home shopping network looking for Prince LeBron James Charming. With First Lady Michelle Obama in the office, that is proof that black women can have both a high powered career and a loving family. If Oprah cannot inspire Ms. Miller, nobody can! Black women have headed careers and families before the First Lady, but the spotlight was never as bright. Our hard work and perseverance gets pushed aside for reality shows, video hoes, violence and all the other negative images we feed the world of ourselves. Reckless abandonment. Having a career is not a punishment. But since Ms. Miller would like some days off, give her a permanent vacation. She sickens me, and reminds me why I black women have such a hard time loving one another. Why our guard is up, why we are so suspicious of one another. Black women have made it acceptable to disrespect and dishonor one another. Ironically, this post relates to Fantasia, as she herself plays a role in feeding the world images of black women that reinforce stereotypes. That’s another topic, and I’m not here to defend or convict Fantasia. Nobody can cut you down like your own sister. It hurts worst of all when it comes from inside our community. I expect others to show ignorance towards us, but we must show respect to one another. Black women gleefully throw each other under the bus, as if it is a sacrificial acceptance ritual. Ms. Miller should keep her personal opinions off-line. If she can’t do it, she needs to be fired! Her apology was fake and it only came out because she was busted. If this was Beyonce’ Knowles, she’d have NEVER said anything like this. I have my personal feelings about other people myself, but would I be so IGNORANT to post them online? You can critique, you can write an editorial in a tactful manner. If I hold a job in the music industry, would I negatively tweet hateful comments about another female artist? Oh, wait Keyshia Cole beat me to the punch! As did Ciara, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Keri Hilson and a slew of other current black artists that wear the “I hate other black women and I don’t mind disgracing them in front of the world” badge with pride! Ms. Miller exhibited the grace of a rabid animal, ready to bite into the nearest leg to infect them with her ignorance. Jet is already on a lifeline, so why push the publication into the obsolete with staff like Ms. Miller? The digital age is upon us, and Jet has to make moves to stay current and relevant, Ms. Miller is hurting your reputation.

Good Day!

Yolanda Langford

Another Lacefront Dragging Moment: Kelly Rowland, Come on DOWN!

Today is the big day, or should I say forgettable day, that  Kelly Rowland releases (U.S). Here I Am.  The irony of that title is scary to say the least, but I’ll just say this much and be done with it:

Nelly&Kelly was the opportunity Kelly allowed Matty Knowles to throw away!

I am numb from feeling hurt and disappointed in Kelly. I used to go so hard for her, but after her lip-synced ‘urban and simple-minded’ performance, along with these cheap toilet paper tracks on her album, I have officially released her to the wolves to devour and relish. If you don’t care Kelly, then I don’t care as a fan. Tell your girl Brandy to step lightly as well, because her procrastination has her on a ticking time bomb as well! I won’t turn my back on Brandy, for she has given me music for my life, but she’s gonna get a thrashing if she doesn’t give us music and GOOD music. But back to Kelly, you never have given me good music as a solo artist, just a few tracks, but they were never released. You spent most of your career kissing Beyonce’s ASS and now you wanna hop on two feet? And when you do, you just act like a regular, faceless R&B/euro pop artist that comes and goes? I can’t Kelly, I just can’t. As Trent said, your EuroDance music had more thought and feeling into it, it just didn’t catch over here. Now YOU want to degrade and demean yourself and possibly go on tour as a SUPPORTING act to Chris Brown? I’ll open the train door, you jump first Kelly!  Your full of horse$#!t Kelly Rowland.  You give Italy this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdrhbynd6kM&feature=related), but you give your homeland, this (http://www.youclubvideo.com/video/183839/kelly-rowland-motivation-bet-awards-2011)??? Everybody in the United States doesn’t like LiL Gremlin, smoke black’n’milds, and get free cheese on their EBT television awards cards!!!! This ‘urban’ crap you are pitching at the US is beyond trash and for you to think we here don’t believe in  and and relish in the extravegant, sensual and beautiful images music (like the song and video you sang with Tiziana Ferror-Breath Gentle) can convey is beyond me.   I like a little Janet with my hamburger, don’t get me wrong now!   And we ALL know she can go there, but if you are gonna give me Rope Burn, you better swing from the pole and have the performance to back it up, sexy, classy and sweetTreyanna Songz is NONE of the above! Don’t get me started on Kelly’s last albums, I would have stood behind them if her head wasn’t far up Beyonce’s butthole!   She had momentum after the Nelly and Kelly Dilemma smash, but Matty Knowles put the breaks on that.  THAT is WHEN KELLY SHOULD HAVE HIGH TAILED IT OUT OF MUSIC WORLD! NINE YEARS AGO!!!!

Personal Diary Entry: What Power Means

Hey All,

I’ve been gone for a few days, but I wanted to speak on an issue that has been beaten to death like a belly up deer on the side of the road that has its four legs stiffly poking into the air due to rigamortis.  So I am going take a different spin to keep it, as one of my favorite people would say, “Fresh and Fruity”!  The topic of relationships comes up too much in my mind, on the tv, on the internet, or practically anywhere you turn.  Relationships that involve your boss, family, partner, spouse, teacher, bully, lover, abuser are all complex, and have different nuances depending on the people involved.  But I will tell you what I learned relationships were about for me personally from a young age until now, and it’s a reality I couldn’t keep silent about even though I tried many times; Power.  As a young child, I didn’t have power or control over my life, and in my opinion, that was abused and treated with much abandonment as a result.  In high school, I was picked on and teased by the ‘in crowd’ or by those who felt they had more ‘power’ than me in the social aspect.  These ‘battles’ went onwards until I graduated, and only now am I beginning to start to understand what it all meant.  Only now am I starting to let the powerless feelings go.  I made a vow to myself that when I turned 18, I’d be a steamroller towards anyone who tried to cage me in or exert power and control over me.  True to form, In college I fought viciously with professors who reveled in their power over passing and failing students or  other kids on the campus who believed their ‘acceptance’ into the social life of college somehow gave them power over me.  My life became an exhausting fight with those who continually tried exhert their ‘upper hand’ over me.  College really didn’t resemble anything much different from high school except I met nicer people and had more room and freedom to remove myself from people and situations I didn’t want to be around.  I also became much more vocal and spoke up for myself in a much more flamboyant manner, nipping any conflicts I may have had with people much quicker.  I really refused to be pulled back into highschool, so I was willing to “black out” on anyone who tried to make me feel ‘socially’ inferior.  Professors held the power over me passing, and graduating, so how could I  stick up or protect myself if I believed this power was being abused?  Let’s just say I gave the 70’s and 60’s a run for their money when it came to protesting and fighting the powers that be for my own personal causes.   There’s a price to pay for any and every action, and I chose to pay the price for speaking up and protecting myself.  It was as if I was hopped up on steroids as a result of my childhood, and I was constantly on high alert for anybody who wanted to do me harm, or mess with me in any way.  As the years went on in college, my Fight Club mentality simmered, but it never disappeared.  I am what I am, and that will never change.   In my mind, I believed I had been through a trying childhood, and a difficult time in college, and so I naïvely believed the worst was over and God would allow me to live a “NORMAL” life once I moved away and graduated.   WRONG WRONG!!!!!!!!!! And WRONG AGAIN!  Too many Christian retreats led me to really believe I’d go on to live a life similar to Ce Ce Winans or Mary Mary if I’d just follow the rules.  I DID follow the “rules” on what to do, what not do do, how to treat people, go to school graduate, get a job, go to church and just wait for your blessings.   My personal prayer was to be recompensated for a shitty childhood and garbage like family.  That my blessings would come down from the clouds: a white-collar spouse, 2.5 kids,  a dog, and a house in the suburbs not to far from the neighborhood church.  I don’t blame Jesus, but I do blame the propaganda that had been sold underneath his name, hence the fact I haven’t been to church in four years.  I go every now and again, but find no need to become a regular attending member.  That’s another Power and Control relationship, but I’ll leave that post for another day.  As I was saying, I was in for a rude awakening upon my graduation.  I believe the factors of power and control in relationships became much more of a larger factor professionally and personally, because now was the time to make decisions that cemented the direction I wanted my life to go.  I was in a relationship shortly after graduation that you’d think would have been kept fairly light, but the demands that were made on me were too heavy a price to pay, and hence the end of that relationship.  I also demanded too much as well.  It wasn’t my job to provide for them, and it wasn’t their job to save me from my childhood demons.  You’d think I’d have gotten smarter, but in my desperate attempt to formulate this life I desired, I continually made poor decisions that voluntarily put the power in other people’s hands.  My desperation to have friends, a relationship, and a career caused me to acquire and lose associates,  get into dead-end relationships and lose a few jobs.  I was having a meltdown, but that was because I hadn’t taken the time to develop MY OWN INDIVIDUAL foundation that didn’t involve being attached to someone else.  When people realized they had the power, because I’d given it up temporarily; the results were always the same.  I attracted people to me who thirsted for power and control because I thought that was what I had to relinquish to get what I most coveted as a little girl, acceptance and love.  New relationship?  It ended shortly.  New job? I either got fired or quit.  New associates? I’d change my number or they’d do the same.  The biggest blessing for me in my life is that I entered adulthood with the same Savior I’d had as a child and a childhood best friend.  It didn’t seem like much to me, so I kept looking and looking and looking.  I truly bought into what was indoctrinated into me as a little girl watching disney, and television, and as adult who attended church.  In order to be happy; I had to be in a relationship heading towards marriage and then get married.  But on that road, I learned the power and struggle game.  Because of my all-consuming desire to have this life, it became my greatest downfall.  The power always rested with the other person, because all they had to do was leave.  They knew it, and so did I.  This was a theme that was introduced to me as a child, abandonment.  I can remember sitting in front of my door screaming and crying for my dad to comeback after he’d briefly come to visit or allow us to visit him.  I remember crying until my head hurt and I fell asleep.  To see someone I loved so much effortless walk away from me became etched in my mind.  Screaming and crying couldn’t bring them back, so I believed that I was a disposable person.  So when I felt cracks in my own relationships, my mind immediately when back to my childhood, and hell usually broke lose.  I either quietly rotted away in these relationships, biding my time until they abandoned me anyway, or I’d violently explode after having the last power play shoved down my throat.  My own family didn’t serve as a foundation, and they had a power structure set up that determined me to be certifiable insane,  so I tried to create my own family through dead-end relationships.  I just  kept looking and looking and looking.  I remember the last time I talked to the guy I dreamed of starting a family with.  He was used to coming and going in and out of my life, because I had given him that power in hopes that I could rewrite history.  I simply told him, “No, I’d rather not see you.  Please, don’t contact me again”.  I meant it, and he knew it.  He tried to slap me in the face with his power moves by claiming to have someone else.  I simply didn’t care anymore.  It no longer ripped out my heart, because it had become numb from this game.  When I stopped trying to create this life I wanted; when people threatened to walk out and I didn’t look up anymore; I knew I’d taken back my power.  This went for all the relationships I was involved in.  I didn’t care to make friends at work or speak because it’s the right thing to do.  I stopped returning calls after having to practically chase that person down to get a callback.  I stopped traveling to visit other people.  I started to use that powerful word, “No”, and my life began to turn around.  I’ll never be the bubbling girl who arrived after graduation with hope that my life would become normal,  but I think that that’s okay.  I am no longer disillusioned.  I learned that romantic relationships are indeed power struggles that take up my entire life, and all the space in my mind.  If I haven’t unpacked my baggage from my childhood, then my damaged inner child will always stand in the way of me having healthy romatic relationships.  I am not to the point yet where I can allow someone in my life without it being all consuming, so I have to focus on me and my own dreams and goals outside of another adult.  I had neglected myself trying to find ‘love’.  The struggles I had with friends I had in highschool and college came to an end because I stopped caring about their acceptance as well.  You can’t have a power struggle with people who don’t care.  I control and have power over myself, and that’s it.  I don’t try to control others, and will NEVER allow another person to control me.  Control is different from compromise, but we don’t have time for that in today’s world.  I tell you this, in ANY relationship, there is a master and a slave, I don’t care WHAT lies people tell you.  You are more than likely lying to yourself because your needs are being met in this set-up.  I am gradually standing up as an person who is an individual.  I still lost the same people who were walking out of my life anway, but the same people who truly loved me, stayed with me.   In every relationship, I have a voice, and the right to speak my mind.  I’m not trying to do anything underhanded at work and neither is my boss, so there is no power struggle there.  It’s only respect in that relationship, yet I’ve been at jobs that were downright abusive due to the power struggles that took place.  I don’t care about what the next man is doing, so I don’t compete or care to know what co-workers are doing.  My supportive circle is totally supportive and loving, so that’s no struggle.  I am not in a relationship because I believe what I want and look for,  DOES NOT match up with anybody out there that I know of.  I’m not accepting the weak hand in a power struggle, and I refuse to allow anyone to mentally terrorize me.  Unfortunately, that is how most relationships are conducted; Desert-Storm style.  How do I know this?  I’ve lived it, and I’ve seen people sell there SOULS just to be in a relationship, completely giving up their power.  Some people are sadistic, or don’t trust in themselves enough to be the captain of their own ship.   As for me, I love the idea of love, but the reality is, the power struggles aren’t worth it to me, because once you’ve been broken down by a bad toxic relationship, you may never return back to functioning as a clear thinking individual. I promised myself to protect myself at any cost when I turned 18, and for the last 3 years, I went back on that promise in the name of being in a relationship.  I am never yielding power in that fashion ever again, which I believe automatically kicks me out of my community’s, dating pool!  I’m not saying it will never happen but ‘dating’ has become a quick and dirty  way of saying let someone sleep with you for free, spend your money for free, waste your time for free and maybe just MAYBE they’ll buy you off the market.  That’s too high a price to pay for a maybe in my book!

The Silence is So Loud, It’s Deafening!

 

 

Would a father betray his firstborn child?

Do you hear that?  That’s not thunder and lightening folks!  That’s the deafening silence the Beyoncé Knowles camp has in the wake of the most SCANDALOUS of scandals amongst the clan.  But before we get to it, let’s take a trip back down memory lane shall we for a drama recap over the last 13 years!

In 1998 Beyoncé and Lydell (her first love) break up; LeToya and LaTavia were kicked out of Destiny’s Child in 2000, as a result, they slapped their former band mates and manager with a lawsuit that they eventually dropped after a private settlement; Beginning in 1998-2000, Beyoncé indeed began to see Sean Carter, though they waited until she was ‘legal’ to do music together; In 2002, Kelly Rowland releases the first solo project (outside Solange) that receives little to NO promotion despite winning a Grammy for her commercially successful  Nelly&Kelly hit  “Dilemma” off of HIS album Nellyville. 

Kelly’s album Simply Deep was just that…simple, and much to my chagrin and painful aggrevation, she refused to speak up for herself and continued to drink the Knowles Kool-Aid; Also in 2002, Michelle Williams released her first solo gospel album From My Heart to Yours.  Indeed it was successful in the gospel realm, but that didn’t count in the grand scheme of things because she was not commercially successful, nor did she top the Billboard 200 charts.  We all know this wasn’t what she really wanted  because later on she released a pop/dance album, (Unexpected in 2008);

In 2003 Beyoncé overshadows Kelly and Michelle,(with the help of Papa Knows-Best and Jay-Z) releasing her debut album Dangerously In Love.  Mind you, her Austin Powers: Gold Member tinged single “Work It Out” was indeed a commercial flop, but that got swept underneath the rug because she was the commercial cash cow.  We won’t get into the magnitude of this album or its commerical success, but I will say that 8 years later, she’s still the head chick in charge in the R&B/Pop world as a solo artist;  In 2004, Solange got a knee jerk engagement, marriage, and divorce from a some dude to sanctify her pre-marital/teenage rendezvous; Michelle releases another holy roller album in 2004 with little to no support from MK and Kelly releases another album that gets NO support from Matthew Knowles in 2006 (let me remind you that KELLY publicly continues to kiss Beyoncé’s ass); 

Tina files for divorce in 2009, yet gets cold feet and Kelly fires Mathew: Michelle fires Mathew in 2010; Mathew Knowles confirms with a paternity test that he had a child outside of his marriage (he’s still married); Beyoncé continuously got accused of stealing material and ideas all throughout this period and lawsuits were filed left and right., In 2009 Kelly decides to grow a pair and release new Euro/Pop dance techno music, becoming a sensation over in Europe.  She performs a much herald lip-synced, but totally bland and uninspiring routine that rips Janet Jackson off at the Below Educated and Thoughtless (BET) awards in 2011; Beyonce fires Daddy Matty in 2011. 

NOW for the big one, in 2011 Mathew Knowles has been accused by Live Nation (a company that has Roc Nation, Jay Z’s company under its umbrella) of stealing Beyoncé’s money from her last tour.  Now I’ll just say this, I’ve typed a lot, and Mathew has INDEED screwed over many people, but a smart businessman ALWAYS protects his investments and Beyoncé is an investment.  Why suddenly, after making her one of the biggest stars on the planet, would he ‘steal‘ from her when he already was getting paid just by being her manager and making CUT THROAT deals and stealing in the name of his favorite baby girl?  Did Tina Knowles tell her to do it because she’s pissed about the side baby and side baby mama?  Does Jay-Z want to separate Beyonce’ from the one person who will fight tooth and nail to make sure she’s protected, all in an effort to  screw her over himself in the future?  Time will tell…..

Is Jennifer Hudson Disillusioned About the Music Business?

I’ll start by saying, I have never been a fan of Jennifer Hudson, yet she seems to be ‘everywhere’, so I cannot escape her.   Let me be clear, I am not writing this post to get a ‘Ki-Ki’ off the disastrous display of her lacefront, I really want to call this situation to the carpet.  Enough with the media kid gloves!  With a ‘gold’ record under her newly thinned belt, yet no certifiable hits, it’s hard to not suggest her reminiscing via the album title, I Remember Me, could indeed be a farewell to a shot at commercial/artistic relevance.  Even by my own ears, she has NEVER produced a bonified HIT according to the gospel of Why1980, forget the Billboards.  She went gold in April 2011 after releasing, I Remember Me, yet her previous album topped that, as well as spawned commercial billboard hits.  What’s that you say?  I am contradicting myself?  Not at all, you see I already stated my ears have never heard a hit on any of her albums, and her voice is more suitable for big musical numbers like “And I Am Telling You”, originally sang by Jennifer Holiday in the broadway production of Dreamgirs. I am not interested in typing the hits she did have on her first album because they weren’t hits to me.  What I can tell you is that she received way more endorsements, advertisement and exposure with this current project than she did her last, yet the sales and rankings are in reverse.  Yes we know she has lost pounds of weight, but did she lose her mind as well?  Outside of having to endure the torture of her lacefront, I want to finally proclaim the truth!  That her career has been more bark than bite, and indeed the only reason she got an Oscar was because she screamed louder than ‘You Know Who’ in Dreamgirls.  Indeed Hollyweird felt pity for her due to recent personal tragedy(which is classless to discuss, so I would never do so), which protects her from the Dirt-Dust-Mud dragging the media usually languishes on lesser deserving candidates.  I just can’t with her vapid, verbose, vacant interviews that have NOTHING to do with her new album.  STICK to the music Ms. HUDSON!  If you wanted to stuff your ass like a butterball turkey, that’s your business, get back to the MUSIC!  The only thing she has to talk about is the wonders of her stomach staple surgery, masked as a Weight Watchers campaign.  If she keeps this up, her days are already numbered.  Good riddance!  I see an accident, more than a true star.  You can’t continue to ride on sympathy votes, pity parties and shrinking pony shows to push your product.  Cuz ‘She Who Shall Not Be Named’  in this post is back from her mini break, and Lord help the talentless R&B startlets who get in the way of her powerful hooves!  I don’t care whether Jennifer is skinny or fat, it’s the fact that she insists on picking and chosing which elephant in the room to address, and shoving it down the public’s throat ala ‘Alicia Keys style’ is what I can’t take .

My Overdue Ode to Ray Allen

The three pointer assasin.

Though this is my first post to my blog, this ode is long overdue.  I started watching the NBA finals with family in 2009,  and inadvertenly was introduced to the Boston Celtics during the playoffs.  Quickly, I fell in step and became a fan of the highly organized and structurally superior team.  The team captain was recognized (Paul Pierce) and team veteran KG was tirelessly making sure that his team members had his support during each play and each altercation.  But the one man who stood out to me was, Ray Allen.  I didn’t know that Ray Allen was aka Jesus Shuttleworth, and I am glad I didn’t have a premeditated image of him from the movie.  Ray Allen executed his three-point assassinations with style and grace.  He never erupted in anger, or played foul during the pressure cooking moments of the playoffs.  His face was the ever-present canvass of calm, cool, and collected manhood.  I continued to tune into the playoffs in hopes of seeing the Boston Celtics, but mainly Ray Allen.  And here are my Top 5 reasons why Ray Allen is a quintessential role model:

1.  He was named to the NBA All-Star team 10 times in his career
2.  He is visibly dedicated to community service.  Using his Ray of Hope Foundation as a vehicle of service, he was awarded the NBA Cares Community Assists Award in 2010 for his tireless work in support of U.S. troops and local community programs.
3.  He is a part of the Boston Celtics trinity (KG, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen) *personal opinion and undeniable reality!
4. He was awarded the Auerbach awarded in 2009.
5.  He consistently handles himself in the public eye with class, style, grace, and masculinity; making him an excellent role model, not only as an African-American male, but as an international representative that exhibits values that are not uncommon, but hardly broadcast as frequently and visibly as it should be.  It’s unfortunate, but we all know that sensationalism and provocative behavior not only sales, but feeds simple minds! 
 

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